I almost accidentally got married one time. Let me explain. A friend of mine who I worked with at the radio station was getting married. His bride, Lovisa, and he had both gone to Vanderbilt, and were having their wedding in Nashville. He still works in baseball radio, so the wedding was to take place during the all-star break. I had just gotten settled in at Auburn, and I had a good month before I was going to be really busy, so I invited my ex-girlfriend Laura and decided to go.
As I typically do, I started looking for the invitation on Friday to get the details. It was then that I realized it was a 7pm wedding. I don’t know much about weddings, but I think that 7pm means you need to put on your fancy shoes. It took a little bit of doing, but I was able to raid a few closets at home and put together a very fitting black suit ensemble that I was rather proud of.
On the way to Nashville Saturday I realized I was beltless, but that was fixed with a quick trip to the mall. So, 6:45 arrives and we make our way to the beautiful Cheekwood Botanical Gardens. It was a little farther than I had anticipated (Wanda, my GPS, slightly overestimated the speediness of my driving), but we still arrived at the guard shack at 6:57. I rolled down my window and the guard asked me who’s wedding I was attending. I was a bit surprised to hear that the Golder-Benbow wedding was 1 of 3 that were to take place at 7pm. July 7th, 2007, 7pm. No problem though…she handed me a map and explained that I would be driving past “Parking Lot A”, and the first wedding on the left. Then I’d go up a hill and park in “Parking Lot B”.
After a few curves we spotted wedding #1 and “Parking Lot A”. I slowly proceeded past. Up the hill I noticed another ceremony on the right, followed by “Parking Lot B”. Looking back, I should have been a bit weary of the ceremony on the right. It was a rather small looking ceremony. 20 chairs tops. We’re friends and all, but I would have a hard time believing I would have made the top 20. Regardless, we did a quick scan of the surroundings, and the one we had passed on the right was the only one in sight of “Parking Lot B”. This ceremony was taking place about 100yds from the road, and the only way to get to it was via a small paved walkway. So, Laura and I walk down said walkway towards where everyone else was sitting.
7:00pm. Laura in her fancy black dress, and me in my black suit begin walking down towards this wedding. The organist sees us and begins to play. The other guests stand and turn to look at us. It was right about now that I notice they’re all wearing khaki shorts and boat shoes. Maybe they hadn’t gotten the memo that 7pm was fancy. It appears they think we are in the wedding. We awkwardly continue down the never-ending walkway and finally grab a seat in the back (aka Row 2). By this time everyone has sat back down, and the organist has stopped playing. Puzzled looks abound. After a minute or so I notice someone beside me looking at their map, as if to make sure they’re in the right place. The top of their map says something about the Schneider wedding.
I ask if they know Brad or Lovisa.
“Who?”.
When 20 people chuckle at the same time, it can be heard the entire length of a never-ending walkway.
We did finally make it to the right wedding, with the right attire. So what if we had to watch them kiss while we were hiding in the bushes trying not be be seen as the obvious “super-late arriving guests”. We were able to join in the line to the reception right between the distant cousins and the grandparents. Nobody had a clue.